Before you start
- A dating app or site account
- A friend you can share your plans with
Method 1 Set up your profile safely
-
Step 1: Choose a reputable app
Use well-known dating apps with profile verification, reporting and blocking tools. Download them only from official app stores.
-
Step 2: Protect your identity
Use your first name only. Don’t include your surname, workplace, home area, school, or photos that show your house, car number plate or location.
-
Step 3: Use unique photos
Use photos that aren’t on your other social media, so people can’t find your accounts with a reverse image search.
-
Step 4: Secure your account
Use a strong, unique password and turn on two-factor authentication if the app offers it.
Method 2 Chat and verify matches
-
Step 1: Keep chats in the app
Stay in the app’s messaging until you trust someone. Scammers often push to move to WhatsApp or another app quickly, where reporting is harder.
-
Step 2: Look for verification
Prefer profiles with a photo verification badge. Be wary of profiles with very few or professional-looking photos and little information.
-
Step 3: Reverse image search
Use Google Lens or another reverse image search on their photos. If they appear under different names or belong to a model, it’s a fake.
-
Step 4: Video call first
Before meeting, have a short video call. Someone who always has a broken camera or keeps making excuses may not be who they claim.
| Red flag | What it looks like |
|---|---|
| Too much, too fast | Declares love within days, calls you their soulmate, talks about marriage early |
| Can’t meet | Works abroad, on an oil rig, in the military or as a doctor overseas; always has a reason not to meet or video call |
| Money requests | A sudden emergency: medical bills, customs fees, a stuck inheritance, travel costs to visit you |
| Unusual payment | Asks for gift cards, crypto, wire transfers or money through an ‘agent’ |
| Investment tips | Offers to teach you crypto or forex trading on a special platform |
| Secrecy | Asks you not to tell friends or family about the relationship |
| Intimate photo pressure | Pushes for nude photos, then threatens to share them unless you pay (sextortion) |
Method 3 Meet safely
-
Step 1: Pick a public place
Meet for the first few dates in a busy café, restaurant or public space during the day or early evening, never at your home or theirs.
-
Step 2: Arrange your own transport
Get yourself there and back, so you can leave whenever you want and they don’t learn where you live.
-
Step 3: Tell a friend
Share who you’re meeting, their profile, where and when. Share your live location and agree a check-in time.
-
Step 4: Stay alert
Limit alcohol, keep your drink with you, and don’t accept drinks you didn’t see being made.
-
Step 5: Trust your instincts
If something feels wrong, leave. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. Ask staff for help if you feel unsafe.
Method 4 If something goes wrong
-
Step 1: Stop all contact and payments
If you suspect a scam, stop replying and never send more money, even if they promise to pay you back.
-
Step 2: Report and block
Report the profile in the app so it can be removed, then block it. Keep screenshots of chats and profiles.
-
Step 3: Contact your bank
If you sent money, call your bank or payment provider immediately; they may be able to stop or recover it.
-
Step 4: Report to the police
Report scams, threats or sextortion to the police or your national fraud reporting service. Sextortion is a crime; don’t pay, as payment rarely stops the demands.
Troubleshooting
My match won’t video call
Treat it as a red flag. Genuine people are usually happy to do a short video call before meeting.
Someone is threatening to share my photos
Don’t pay or send more. Stop contact, keep the evidence, report the account, and contact the police. Many platforms can help remove intimate images.
I already sent money
Contact your bank immediately, report it to the police or fraud reporting service, and beware of “recovery” services that promise to get your money back for a fee; they are often scams too.
Frequently asked questions
Is online dating safe?
Most people have safe experiences, especially when they use reputable apps, protect their information and meet in public.
How long should I chat before meeting?
There’s no rule, but verify with a video call first, and don’t feel pressured to meet before you’re comfortable.
Can men be targeted by romance scams?
Yes. Anyone can be targeted, regardless of age or gender.
Summary
Protect your personal details, keep chats in the app at first, and verify matches with a video call and reverse image search. Never send money or intimate photos to someone you haven’t met. Meet in public, arrange your own transport, tell a friend, and report and block anyone who pressures or threatens you.
