Before you start
- Time and patience with yourself
- Supportive friends or family
Method 1 Get through the first weeks
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Step 1: Let yourself grieve
Sadness, anger, relief, loneliness and confusion are all normal after a breakup. Cry, write in a journal, or talk it out instead of bottling it up.
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Step 2: Create distance
Limit contact as much as you can. If you share children, work or a home, keep conversations short, polite and practical.
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Step 3: Manage social media
Mute, unfollow or hide your ex (and their close friends if needed) so you don’t keep checking their life.
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Step 4: Put reminders away
Box up photos and gifts and store them out of sight. You can decide what to keep later.
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Step 5: Don’t make big decisions in a rush
Avoid quitting your job, moving far away or posting about the breakup while emotions are raw.
Method 2 Look after yourself
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Step 1: Keep a basic routine
Get up at a regular time, eat proper meals and get outside. Routine gives structure when everything feels uncertain.
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Step 2: Move your body
Walking, exercise or dancing helps lift mood and improve sleep.
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Step 3: Be careful with alcohol
Drinking to numb pain usually makes low mood worse and can lead to regretted messages.
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Step 4: Sleep
Keep a consistent bedtime and put your phone away at night, especially if you’re tempted to message your ex.
Method 3 Lean on others
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Step 1: Talk to friends and family
Tell people you trust what happened and how you feel. Accept invitations even when you don’t feel like it.
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Step 2: Say what you need
Let friends know if you need distraction, company or just someone to listen.
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Step 3: Join something new
A class, team or volunteering role gives you new people and something to look forward to.
Method 4 Rebuild and move on
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Step 1: Reflect, don’t ruminate
Once the first pain eases, think about what you learned: what you need in a relationship, and what you’d do differently. Then let the rest go.
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Step 2: Rediscover yourself
Return to hobbies and goals you put aside, or try something new: travel, learning, a fitness challenge.
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Step 3: Take your time before dating again
Wait until you’re dating because you want to meet someone new, not to fill a gap or make your ex jealous.
Troubleshooting
I keep checking their social media
Mute or block them, log out of apps for a while, and ask a friend to hold you accountable.
I want to message them
Write the message in your notes app instead, wait 24 hours, and talk to a friend before sending anything.
We still have to see each other
Keep interactions brief and polite, focus on practical matters, and plan something supportive for afterwards.
Frequently asked questions
How long does it take to get over a breakup?
It varies widely depending on the relationship and circumstances. Most people feel noticeably better within a few months, though some days will be harder than others.
Should we stay friends?
Maybe later. Most people need time and distance first, until neither of you is hoping to get back together.
Is it OK to get back together?
Sometimes couples reconcile successfully, but only if the reasons for the breakup have genuinely been addressed, not just because you feel lonely.
Summary
Allow yourself to grieve, create distance by limiting contact and muting your ex online, and lean on the people around you. Keep a routine with sleep, food and movement, avoid numbing with alcohol, and gradually rebuild with new activities and reflections. Seek professional help if you can’t cope, and get legal advice if you’re divorcing.
