Before you start
- Time to talk with your parent and other family members
- A notebook or folder for a care file
- Contact details for their doctor and pharmacy
Method 1 Understand what help is needed
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Step 1: Talk with your parent
Ask what they find hard and what they want. Respect their independence and involve them in every decision they can make.
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Step 2: Look at daily activities
Notice how they manage washing, dressing, cooking, eating, using the toilet, moving around, shopping, money and medicines.
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Step 3: Book a medical review
Go with them to their doctor to review health conditions, medicines, hearing, eyesight, memory and mood. Ask whether they qualify for a care needs assessment or home support.
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Step 4: Hold a family meeting
Agree who can help with what: visits, transport, shopping, money and paperwork. Write it down.
Method 2 Make the home safe
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Step 1: Prevent falls
Remove loose rugs and clutter, tidy cables, and keep walkways clear. Add non-slip mats in the bathroom.
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Step 2: Add support
Fit grab rails by the toilet, bath and stairs, and consider a shower seat, raised toilet seat and stair handrails on both sides.
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Step 3: Improve lighting
Use bright bulbs, night lights between bedroom and bathroom, and light switches at both ends of the stairs.
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Step 4: Plan for emergencies
Consider a personal alarm or a phone with emergency contacts, and fit working smoke and carbon monoxide alarms.
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Step 5: Keep essentials within reach
Store everyday items between waist and shoulder height to avoid climbing and bending.
Method 3 Manage health and medicines
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Step 1: Keep a medicines list
List every medicine, dose and time, and take it to every appointment. Ask a pharmacist to review medicines for side effects and interactions.
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Step 2: Use a pill organiser
A weekly pill organiser or pharmacy blister pack makes it easier to take the right medicine at the right time.
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Step 3: Track appointments
Keep one calendar for appointments and repeat prescriptions, shared with family.
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Step 4: Support good nutrition and activity
Encourage regular meals, fluids and gentle activity such as walking or chair exercises, which help strength and balance.
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Step 5: Watch for changes
Report new confusion, falls, weight loss, low mood or incontinence to their doctor. Sudden confusion needs urgent medical attention.
Method 4 Plan legal and money matters
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Step 1: Organise documents
Gather ID, bank details, pension and insurance documents, property papers and the will in one secure place.
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Step 2: Set up a power of attorney
While your parent can still make decisions, they can appoint someone to manage money and health decisions if they lose capacity later. The name and process vary by country, so ask a lawyer or official advice service.
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Step 3: Talk about wishes
Discuss their preferences for future care, where they want to live, and end-of-life wishes, and write them down.
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Step 4: Check benefits and support
Look into pensions, disability or carer benefits, and local services they may be entitled to.
Method 5 Look after yourself
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Step 1: Share the care
Accept help from family, friends, neighbours, faith communities and home care services.
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Step 2: Take regular breaks
Ask about respite care, day centres or a sitter so you can rest.
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Step 3: Find support
Join a carers’ group, online or in person. Talking to others in the same situation helps.
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Step 4: Notice burnout
Exhaustion, irritability, poor sleep and feeling hopeless are signs to get more help, and to talk to your own doctor.
Troubleshooting
My parent refuses help
Listen to their fears, such as losing independence, and start small. Frame help as making things easier, and involve their doctor or a trusted friend.
Siblings aren’t helping
Hold a meeting with a clear list of tasks. Siblings who live far away can handle paperwork, calls, online shopping or paying for help.
I’m caring while working full time
Ask your employer about flexible working or carer’s leave, and use local services and technology such as video calls and medication reminders.
Frequently asked questions
How do I know when my parent needs more help?
Signs include falls, missed medicines, weight loss, an untidy home, unpaid bills, getting lost, or poor hygiene.
Can I get paid for caring for my parent?
In some countries, carers can receive allowances or be paid through care programmes. Check with your local government or social services.
How do I talk about moving to a care home?
Talk early and gently, focus on safety and quality of life, visit options together, and involve your parent in the choice.
Summary
Talk with your parent about their needs and wishes, get a medical review, and make the home safe from falls. Organise medicines, appointments and documents, set up a power of attorney early, and share care with family and local services. Take breaks and get support for yourself, so you can care well over the long term.
